I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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