There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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