Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
