He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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