Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
