Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
