I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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