I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
a search helicopter?!
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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