I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
