remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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