So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
