I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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