There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
