i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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