New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
two words...techno handjob
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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