The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
