Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
