so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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