I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
