Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
