I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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