yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
