The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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