I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
