Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
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