she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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