We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
