wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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