i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
