Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Your cock deserves a montage
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
