Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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