Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
