My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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