I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
