we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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