Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I got inside last night via doggy door
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
