im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
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if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
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I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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