Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
