We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
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I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
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i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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