Dude my mom stole all your condoms
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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