Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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