I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
vagina is talking i cant
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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