Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
