If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
