We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
