On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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