u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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