when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize