butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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