i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
