Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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