I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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