if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize