Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
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8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
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Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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