I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
