I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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