Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
