Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She bit a glass in half.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
