ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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