A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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